Your Grace Still Amazes Me

Tomorrow morning I will be sitting in class trying to keep my eyes open and looking engrossed in people's speeches. It will be a typical Saturday morning for most people. For me it will be the new normal for this spring. Taking a speech from a feminist teacher at the local college isn't my idea fun but it's what I'm doing.

One year ago if you would told me that's where I would be I wouldn't have imagined it. But I'm here, because of God's grace.

What was I doing one year ago from the 28th day of February? I was weeping. Mom was weeping. Something terrible and tragic had not happened. No in its place was a milestone for both mom and me. Eagle Training Center, my parent's school, closed its doors that day simply because it was no longer needed. I the final student ended my studies that day.

The day I had watched and heard of my siblings have was lastly mine. It felt so surreal, like it shouldn't be. Surly I was not on the brink of my 18th birthday about to obtain a diploma. No I was still the little girl that came to school in dress up clothes and fought with my brothers instead of doing school. Yet it was I.

Frustration over algebra that brought ever so many tears now was gone forever. English sentences that never were diagramed right would never haunt me again. Papers that were written long after they should have been were now distance history. The turbulent high school years were over, gone forever.

There had been the rough spots but there had been the joys. Roles in three plays were pure delight to me. Spending time with friends and exploring deeper things of life excited me. On a cold February Sunday I had been baptized. I loved the times our family gathered often I being the assigned cook.

Distant in my memory is the dark moments. Times where both mom and I weren't sure if we would finish the race. Words that ought to have never been uttered came out of my month. Matters that were so little yet seemed so offensive at the time. Now however they were gone.

So why the tears on that day? Because of the grace of our Lord. I know I never would have finished without our great God. Instead I would have washed up mangled on the shoreline of life. Still I was mangled but it was God's grace that was setting me high and saying "look what I have done".

I listened to this song many times on that day, "Your Grace Still Amazes Me". (You will find it towards the end of my playlist) God's grace by no means has ceased and never will cease to amaze me. Humble sinner though I am still He has covered me.

So this is where I am, looking for the next foothold in life. Job, college, missions, who knows? Tomorrow I will live because of God's grace.

Boys will be Boys

Today was interesting to say the least.

I was treated to a ring side seat at a burping and "tooting" contest during my Bible class. No I didn't laugh nor did I glare because little boys only do such---noises for those reasons.

Reminded me of meal times with my brothers. I never could win a burping contest against them. Mother was always grateful of that. Of course we are much more civilized now. Obligingly though the nephews take up the trend now. Speaking of which we will entertaining nine nieces and nephews tomorrow, all day.

I'll probably have stories to share with you for weeks to come by the time the sun sets.

I promise to be the perfect aunt and give them unlimited suckers while they watch Pooh Bear all day. Oh did my sisters just read that?

Opps ! Time for bed!

Don't let your Love Burn Out

Lit CandleEverywhere I turned it seemed that everyone was talking about the blockbuster film "Fireproof". To put it mildly people weren't talking they were raving! Even though theaters in my home town are still showing it I never bought a ticket. However I looked forward to watching the DVD. I was skeptical though. Could a movie be really that good? My frugal mind couldn't grasp the fact that people would pay to see it twice. Seriously, they were probably just overrating it.

When everyone is chatting about something you just have to experience so you can have a decent conversation. So I couldn't have been more pleased to watch it with my girl friends the other night.

Great was the sacrifice of giving up two hours of fellowship. It was worth it. Never before has a film impacted my life so greatly. Never.

I wept through moments that should never be. Yet is reality in so many American households. Laughed through the ever strangeness of how our actions appear to others. In between all that I reminded myself to breath during some very intense moments. Stellar acting combined with a breathtaking plot made to be an incredible combination. When it was over I proudly admitted that I had been wrong. Then I added it to the very short list of movies that I recommend.

I don't wear a diamond ring on my left hand, nor do I have anyone to even conceive the idea of giving one to me. Yet as the characters portrayed the story suddenly they weren't actors, they were me. Marriage was the theme but I just the adolescent was learning. As Dennis Rainy put it” somewhere in the story you see yourself".

How often with a radiant smile do I joyfully serve at church putting others in front of myself? Once home it's all me. Good grief I'm tired and have stuff to do. And really girls are emotional so it's okay to get angry and frustrated at those around me.

When we died to Christ that didn't mean just when we are serving Him outside of our home. Usually that's the easy part. Behind closed doors the selfish attitudes sets in before we even know it. Devastating our lives and hurting those most close to us. As so painfully portrayed in “Fireproof”, Caleb and Katharine, the estranged couple, probably didn’t realize where they were sliding until they felt it was too late. Sometimes before you know it you find yourself digging your own grave and standing in the hole. The wrecked lives of Caleb and Katharine weren’t too much for Christ to fix. And He’s waiting to fix ours.

But God commendeth his own love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8

No Excuse

Please forgive me won't you? Let's just say I've been neglecting my little blog but no more. My head is filled with ideas and I intend to share them all with you. So don't leave me yet!

I have question for anybody who would like to answer. If I could I'd give everyone who answered a piece of Hersey's Special Dark Chocolate. Just to sweeten the deal a little.

I know I'm good.

But I digress.

Would you all like to hear more about me? As in what I do on a day to day basis. You know cleaning toilets, changing diapers, and driving around in my really hot car. Not.

So I will let the jury commence and let me know with your verdict.

Thoughts from "Fireproof" coming up next week. Yes I finally got to see it!

Young Love

Mom and Dad hosted the annual cousin party sleepover this past weekend. As always it was a huge hit despite the fact that a very uncaring aunt sent the little girls back to bed when they were so very board. Ahem.

In the midst of the fun activates there was a sadness lined around my heart. You see it was last year when my little nephew promised to marry me. Of course I was quite joyfull at the news of my betrothal. However we didn't it even make it one year. Because Friday the little guy told me he wouldn't marry me. I was assured though he wasn't leaving me for someone else because he further stated he would never marry.

Naturally there was far too much chocolate consumed over such heartbreak. My little niece knew it would never work. Because well I would die before he was old enough she kindly explained. I must look pretty hold then.

Throughout the party the dear little man kept reminding me he would never marry. I carefully stored this piece of information away to brought out at just the right moment. Perhaps as a toast at his wedding rehearsal;)

Ah the joys of having the most adorable nieces and nephews ever.

Selah

Excerpts from Psalm 18

2 Jehovah is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; My God, my rock, in whom I will take refuge; My shield, and the horn of my salvation, my high tower.

30 As for God, his way is perfect: The word of Jehovah is tried; He is a shield unto all them that take refuge in him.

31 For who is God, save Jehovah? And who is a rock, besides our God,

32 The God that girdeth me with strength, And maketh my way perfect?

33 He maketh my feet like hinds' feet: And setteth me upon my high places.

To Have and to Hold

I was rushing quickly through the express lane at Wal-Mart. Eager to be on my way to the next destination. Counting out the money was I when I saw the next patron behind me. He had two items, a heart shaped box of chocolates, and a Valentine card inscribed with "To my Wife". I smiled inwardly as I saw the two items clutched. I wanted to inquire to him about the special lady who would be given these things on February 14. Imagining in my mind the gaze of love that would pass between them, the kiss would be planted on well used lips.

John Deere baseball cap proudly sat on his head. Dusty work clothes and boots gave for a pretty good presumption he was a farmer. Making me venerate this sweetheart all the more in my mind. Farmer's wives not only marry the handsome farmer in cowboy boots but the farm that beckons early in the morning and late into the night. Yet here they were still celebrating Valentines Day together. Obvious was it from the wrinkles on his brow that this wasn't the first Valentines purchase he had made for his wife. From the slowness in his demeanor there wouldn't be too many more.

The cashier handed me my change and a receipt. I walked out of the store, no longer thinking about my “to do” list but about two aged lovers who knew what true love was. I feel the same pleasure when I saw the Valentine card my mother bought for her lover, my father. The enjoyment I felt when I teased mom and dad about disappearing out for a date for the 4th time in a month. Viewing so much love can only make one want to love those who love each other all the more.

I don't care to day dream about my marriage on its 50th anniversary. Nor carry on in a sappy romance novel. I prefer just to watch the adorable love grow that has been blossoming for years. Truly it’s the most romantic ever.

Love, Chocolate, and being Single

Valentine's day happens to be just around the corner. A chance for lovers to celebrate their love, as if they needed an excuse:) A very wonderful excuse to eat chocolate! Opportunity for the single girls to be reminded that true love hasn't found them.

I don't call myself single. Single people are mature capable young women I tell my mother. When I am 21 I'll be single and when I'm 30 I'll be a spinster I say.

Valentines means to me time with family and friends. The delicious date at Arby's with a very good friend last year will never be forgotten. Because girls don't let girls drink Jamocha shakes and eat curly fries by themselves.

Read about our annual mom and dad's night out party here.

This year I shall celebrate my ability to continue with my Valentine's tradition. Baking a very chocolate, chocolate cake. Several years back with much help I baked my first cake and I was hooked. Chocolate has been our Valentines menu ever since. One year I made an impressive torte. With layers of chocolate pudding between the cakes slices accented with real whipped cream. Even my chocolate boycotting brother enjoyed it. Shamefully one year I baked a cake mix. I won't do that this year though, I promise;)

Tell me how will you be celebrating Valentines day? I think a girl party with of course chocolate is in order wouldn't you say?

08

Yes I know we are in 2009 now, for the past month however my journal has been dated in 08:)

Absent minded I am. One bright sunny Saturday morning I even forgot how to toast bread. For the life of me I just couldn't remember the proper steps. So I buttered the bread before toasting. By the time I was eating my rather soggy toast the correct process came back to me:)

Crazy, no. Someone who floats in the clouds living day dreams. Yes:)

Selah

28"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.

29"Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS.

30"For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."

Photo Credit: Mobcer

Tis the day for Love

The sun wasn't peeking out yet as I begrudgingly rolled out of bed this morning. Another time, it was shining it's bright rays into my room. Mom came into my room to end my lazy slumber waking me up with very exciting news "Jonathan is going to ask Becki to marry him today"! I was excited of course. My brother had picked a very sweet girl I was sure of that.

I knew she was special the time we walked home all the way across the pasture because the truck was stuck in the mud. Making a story up as went pretending we were in a exciting adventure.
Chaperoning became my newest job that winter. I didn't mind a bit:)Doing my home school in someones new home to be wasn't bad at all. Oh so fun was it to wash the new dishes and then watching Becki organize them in the cupboard.

The highest honor I thought was bestowed when I was asked to be the witness book attendant for their wedding. I couldn't have been more pleased to watch them exchange vows. Just to show I felt a little grudge that my big brother was leaving me I coated their car handles in shaving cream! Of course it was my cousins idea:)

My brown eyes watched the their love grow and blossom. I saw the example of purity of laying outside your wants and convinces for love. I saw the infectious looks and loving smiles. The hands that never let go following the wedding. Ten years old is a little young be planning your love story but I wanted mine to be just like theirs. Looking back I see how theirs was a perfect love story God's writes. Never will He fail to write one again and again.

I saw love in 2001, I see love 8 years later, still growing.

The Super Bowl Ad Nobody Remembers

I did not see one of the much talked about Super Bowl ads this year. Girl time and a chick flick was just much more pleasurable:) However I did watch this Super Bowl ad on YouTube. The Super Bowl ad that wasn't.