She Loves Him

Twenty years ago something very special happened in our family. My oldest sister married her beloved during a beautiful wedding ceremony, and I don't remember a thing.

I don't remember the storm with hurricane wind speeds that knocked the power out for days just weeks before the wedding. Thus saving the mother of the bride from having to cook. Allowing her time for other important things. I don't remember the frenzy of wheat harvest as the father of the bride and any early arriving guests on hand worked hard to bring in the grain. I don't remember my sister spending hours sewing yards of satin and bits of lace into her wedding gown. I don't remember the ring bearer who was framed as the culprit for holding up the couple's departure. I don't remember the food, the flowers, decorations, or even the many well wishers who packed the church. I probably don't remember the spoken vows because I was asleep nestled in my mothers arms. I'm quite certain from the reports and the photographic proof it was lovely day.

What I see now is the beauty of the love which has continued to blossom since my sister's wedding day. A wedding ceremony is beautiful, but only if there is a couple to celebrate its remembrance each year. Sadly a day that once held beauty now is a painful memory for many couples, because of the cruel plight of divorce .

Not my sister, she still holds that bridal glow I'm certain that made her stunning that June evening. This is not what I remember, but the love I see in her, reflected upon the face of her husband. I will see it tomorrow, next year, for as long as the Lord will allow I know I will see it.

To my Big Sister on her Birthday

Written May 12, 2009

Today is my sister's birthday I suppose I should write out 25 things for her like I did my brother. However my sister is not 25 and writing out a thing for each year would disclose the age. Really it is a great many things for which I don't have the time at this moment. Memories cannot be counted for I think the be many more than the few I'm about to share.

I came into the world just 5 short weeks before Charlene's wedding. Thus I felt in my younger years that I was being raised by two mothers. At the time the fact was probably resented but now I feel very appreciated to be able to have the extra advice that few girls such as myself get to have.
Charlene in many ways treated me as her own daughter. I spent many wonderful occasions staying at her home and playing with my nieces who reside close in age to myself. For a person such as myself who loved traveling and packing it was terribly exciting to spend the overnight and someone else's house. Breakfast of course was the best part. Cold cereal was reserved for Sunday's at our house. Usually it was just cornflakes and maybe Raisin Bran. Charlene however kept her cupboard well stocked with things like Apple Jack's and Frosted Shredded Wheat and many others that were all sugar coated. To me it was like eating in candy land now I hear they serve up smoothies with homemade yogurt. I do believe I think I would like those just as well. Especially since I have grown more healthy with my age as my sister did.

I mentioned above how Charlene stepped up sometimes to the role of mother. I'll never forget the times she kindly passed on advice to me. Often in such a subtle way that it felt not even noticeable yet at the same time I knew it was very needed. Charlene gave many things to me, I know when I look her she someone truly knows how to be joy giver instead of a taker. I know where the joy comes from though, straight from God.

Give, Charlene has gave and gave for my life and so many others. By far one of the bestest one's were her two oldest daughters. I think they make great sisters! Special birthday's and Christmas's and just because. The beautiful photo collage made for my graduation. Favorite books, half my collection comes from Charlene's alone!. Ideas given turned into plans by me. Helps with my first make-up application. So many tangible things yet so very much of something that appears in words, actions, and gifts only. Love. I found I can't say anything but...

Thank you.
Happy Birthday from your youngest sister. I hope so very much that when I've had many birthdays like you I will have learned wisdom enough to fill a fine treasure chest.

My sisters and I at Charlen's wedding. Guess which one I am:)

Don't let your Love Burn Out

Lit CandleEverywhere I turned it seemed that everyone was talking about the blockbuster film "Fireproof". To put it mildly people weren't talking they were raving! Even though theaters in my home town are still showing it I never bought a ticket. However I looked forward to watching the DVD. I was skeptical though. Could a movie be really that good? My frugal mind couldn't grasp the fact that people would pay to see it twice. Seriously, they were probably just overrating it.

When everyone is chatting about something you just have to experience so you can have a decent conversation. So I couldn't have been more pleased to watch it with my girl friends the other night.

Great was the sacrifice of giving up two hours of fellowship. It was worth it. Never before has a film impacted my life so greatly. Never.

I wept through moments that should never be. Yet is reality in so many American households. Laughed through the ever strangeness of how our actions appear to others. In between all that I reminded myself to breath during some very intense moments. Stellar acting combined with a breathtaking plot made to be an incredible combination. When it was over I proudly admitted that I had been wrong. Then I added it to the very short list of movies that I recommend.

I don't wear a diamond ring on my left hand, nor do I have anyone to even conceive the idea of giving one to me. Yet as the characters portrayed the story suddenly they weren't actors, they were me. Marriage was the theme but I just the adolescent was learning. As Dennis Rainy put it” somewhere in the story you see yourself".

How often with a radiant smile do I joyfully serve at church putting others in front of myself? Once home it's all me. Good grief I'm tired and have stuff to do. And really girls are emotional so it's okay to get angry and frustrated at those around me.

When we died to Christ that didn't mean just when we are serving Him outside of our home. Usually that's the easy part. Behind closed doors the selfish attitudes sets in before we even know it. Devastating our lives and hurting those most close to us. As so painfully portrayed in “Fireproof”, Caleb and Katharine, the estranged couple, probably didn’t realize where they were sliding until they felt it was too late. Sometimes before you know it you find yourself digging your own grave and standing in the hole. The wrecked lives of Caleb and Katharine weren’t too much for Christ to fix. And He’s waiting to fix ours.

But God commendeth his own love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8

To Have and to Hold

I was rushing quickly through the express lane at Wal-Mart. Eager to be on my way to the next destination. Counting out the money was I when I saw the next patron behind me. He had two items, a heart shaped box of chocolates, and a Valentine card inscribed with "To my Wife". I smiled inwardly as I saw the two items clutched. I wanted to inquire to him about the special lady who would be given these things on February 14. Imagining in my mind the gaze of love that would pass between them, the kiss would be planted on well used lips.

John Deere baseball cap proudly sat on his head. Dusty work clothes and boots gave for a pretty good presumption he was a farmer. Making me venerate this sweetheart all the more in my mind. Farmer's wives not only marry the handsome farmer in cowboy boots but the farm that beckons early in the morning and late into the night. Yet here they were still celebrating Valentines Day together. Obvious was it from the wrinkles on his brow that this wasn't the first Valentines purchase he had made for his wife. From the slowness in his demeanor there wouldn't be too many more.

The cashier handed me my change and a receipt. I walked out of the store, no longer thinking about my “to do” list but about two aged lovers who knew what true love was. I feel the same pleasure when I saw the Valentine card my mother bought for her lover, my father. The enjoyment I felt when I teased mom and dad about disappearing out for a date for the 4th time in a month. Viewing so much love can only make one want to love those who love each other all the more.

I don't care to day dream about my marriage on its 50th anniversary. Nor carry on in a sappy romance novel. I prefer just to watch the adorable love grow that has been blossoming for years. Truly it’s the most romantic ever.

Tis the day for Love

The sun wasn't peeking out yet as I begrudgingly rolled out of bed this morning. Another time, it was shining it's bright rays into my room. Mom came into my room to end my lazy slumber waking me up with very exciting news "Jonathan is going to ask Becki to marry him today"! I was excited of course. My brother had picked a very sweet girl I was sure of that.

I knew she was special the time we walked home all the way across the pasture because the truck was stuck in the mud. Making a story up as went pretending we were in a exciting adventure.
Chaperoning became my newest job that winter. I didn't mind a bit:)Doing my home school in someones new home to be wasn't bad at all. Oh so fun was it to wash the new dishes and then watching Becki organize them in the cupboard.

The highest honor I thought was bestowed when I was asked to be the witness book attendant for their wedding. I couldn't have been more pleased to watch them exchange vows. Just to show I felt a little grudge that my big brother was leaving me I coated their car handles in shaving cream! Of course it was my cousins idea:)

My brown eyes watched the their love grow and blossom. I saw the example of purity of laying outside your wants and convinces for love. I saw the infectious looks and loving smiles. The hands that never let go following the wedding. Ten years old is a little young be planning your love story but I wanted mine to be just like theirs. Looking back I see how theirs was a perfect love story God's writes. Never will He fail to write one again and again.

I saw love in 2001, I see love 8 years later, still growing.

My Lover

Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Just a few days before my favorite holiday I will be 18 for 6 months. Oh what a momentous 6 months it has been. Had I known the trials and growing pains I would have spiritually I might have been tempted to denounce my birthday. However I turned 18 and the rough times came. I'm so thankful to God that they did. I praise for His loving kindness in giving me those hard times.

I knew God loved me...
When I was overwhelmed and thought nothing would get done, God gave me the energy to press on.
When I struggled with a very deep emotional thing important to only me and He showed me it was important.
When He gave me a sister
When I had no physical strength and God gave me just what I needed.
When others saw my pain and showed they cared
When every night the sunset displayed His awesome glory
When I cried the tears of desperation felt utter hopelessness and doubted His love. God loved me.

Tough times are still coming my story isn't over yet. And God hasn't stopped loving me.

"Sound of Music", Written by God; Part One

Beautiful, holy, sovereign, was the wedding of my cousin. Just like a fairytale many people would describe my cousins Angela's wedding. However I would describe it as the perfect will of God. Marrying the man of her dreams. Who had been married just one year prior.

My cousin had taken a nanny job, helping a family with 5 children. Tragedy had struck this family as the mother was ill with cancer. Angela helped with home schooling and care of the children among other things. Once while talking about her school and upon graduation students were required to go into missionary service. Angela said how she viewed her job as a mission. Nothing could be more far from the truth. Angela grew closer to the family even vacationing with them in Hawaii. Celebrating their mothers’ recovery from cancer. Shortly after the trip the cancer returned. She died in November.

Angela continued to help the family, the children loved her. Their father did as well.

October of last year found my girl cousins and I having a slumber party. We watched the Sound of Music. A story I never could believe was true and certainly would never be true again. Little did I know the same story would be written for my dear cousin.

Diamond ring found its way on to Angela's finger after a fast paced courtship. A match made in heaven certainly. Who else could love the children and their father?
To be continued...