Tonadoes and life

I crack jokes about tornadoes. Bragging about how tornado watching is almost like the state sport. Cameras in hand we stare at the skies capturing spectacular clouds instead of cowering in our basements.

 Disclaimer in event of an actual tornado most people are in their basements. Especially with the sky is clothed in a dangerous black and you can't see what is coming upon you.

Really though most of the time tornado watches seems like rain in Seattle. Just another tornado watch. You go on with your day and unplug the computer when the lightening starts to strike.

I used to have nightmares about tornadoes. I was scared to death of the funnel clouds that could do such vile damage.

Countless tornado watches and warnings. One time sent to the basement and we only stayed for a few minutes.

Nope I have never felt the wrath of a tornado. Sometimes the weather has been so ripe yet nothing happened. Sometimes the sun shone while just a few miles away people's homes were shredded.


 While I sip a mocha with a friend children scream on the floor of a cold bathroom and the deafening roar of the twister comes upon them. I cuddle a baby on my lap and somewhere faraway the screams are stopped forever.

And then as I sit in the local hair salon somebody checks the news on their smart phone. The school. The elementary school was hit. Pulling children out. Dead or alive we don't know.

I shiver from more then the overly zealous AC.

Homes are destroyed, but all the people care about is that their family is alive and well. Later they worry about the fact that their very personal things are strewn all over the town. For now their children are safe and nothing else matters.

Those people know something I do not. They know what it is to have nothing, but yet have the most important things in all the world.

And so it makes me wonder what really are my important priorities today?

I think people and love need to move higher up on the list...

May Highlights

I have a craving. A yearning within me. A strong desire in me to write something. Oh there have been lots of words in my head, but there hasn't been the time or place to write them down.

Now I'm here at the computer with my favorite Pandora station playing in the background. All around my brain swirls words and I have no idea how to put the mumble jumble into a readable blog post.

Honestly for the first time in such a long time I can actually think to write. May is half over and I feel I have barely stopped to enjoy the loveliness of my favorite month of the year.

So far in this month I have ...

said goodbye.

Although I prefer to say that I said see you later to friends and places that have entranced my life this past few years. No the leaving was not a pleasant sight. Reality is still setting in that I have been transplanted back into community I was transplanted out of years ago. I'm having to learn to live without the piece of my heart that I left in the town of my higher learning.

 

I have meant two of my blog stalkers.

 I do believe you know who you are and I fully expect you now to speak up and say something :). Jokes aside, it was a blessing to meet two beautiful young ladies who I knew little about, but they knew lots about me since I seem to be very good about dishing out all the gritty details of my life on this blog. Ahem. Meeting you girls was very pleasurable and your sweet spirits made my day.

Had 3 job interviews

and no for all of you were going to ask I still don't know where I'm working. Instead feel free to ask my about my view on guacamole.

Had my plans swept out from under me.

The story is long, but I was planning my summer around one opportunity. Now the opportunity is gone and those weeks are currently empty. God knows. I'm thankful I never bought that plane ticket that would have caused me so much hassle. I'm thankful I'm not left gasping for air, but well under the control of a sovereign God who knows my summer better than I.

 

Spent some wonderful time with my nieces and nephews.

The days weren't long enough, because I wanted to here more cute sayings like "sometimes I have good ideas, but then I forget them". I wanted somebody to cuddle on my lap longer and beg for more stories. There were never enough hours in the night to talk away life and all its details. I wanted to help feed more goats and chickens and I just wanted to be with those people a little while longer. Family is a gift that isn't meant to kept tucked away in a back closet.

 

Had some quality time with airports.

Oh how I love them. I watch the travelers as they rush by with their luggage that is just small enough to be considered a carry on items. Everyone has a story. The Navy sailor in his white uniform carrying a duffel bag who probably just said goodbye to someone who loved him very much. The families trying to juggle little babies and overstuffed backpacks. Ladies in very professional looking clothes and high heels that seem so very impractical for walking. And this list goes on and on.

 

All this happened in such a short time and I didn't even write down half the story, but perhaps that was  a good thing. As for now the dirty kitchen calls me. Have I mentioned its wonderful to clean your very own kitchen ?

 

 Aww pure bliss. 

Those Friends.

The friend.

 The one's who laugh at me when I say I'm craving luscious green salads. The friend that knows exactly what its like to love smoothies and to want to make healthy food.

The friend will indulge in a blizzard with me just for the fun of it. The friend who will text me and encourage me to keep on eating better.

The friend who will force my thoughts from me. Even when it means the tears will come first. The friend who won't roll their eyes at me but will understand the struggles and the hurt.

The friend who will laugh at me because we both know I'm so goofy and nothing will change that.

The friend who will want to change the world right along with me and know how frustrating it is to be able to only be filling the ocean with an eye dropper.

The friend who will sit beside me while we eat greasy bacon and homemade pancakes. We will laugh about the fact here we sit on a Friday night while our married friends go off and party.

The friend who will understand the path is not easy. The friend who will take your hand and say lets do this together.

The friend you will leave so you can go and make a friend with someone who has no friends. The friend who understand that sometimes you can't be with them all the time, but you will always have that friend in your mind.

Friends you know who you are, but do you know how much I thank God for you? How much you have blessed me? I can't even find words to describe it...only tears.

Its true what they say...

“YOU WANT TO GO FAST, GO ALONE. IF YOU WANT TO GO FAR, GO TOGETHER.”

― african proverb

Tell Them.

Abortion has been on the forefront of our mind lately thanks to 3801 Lancaster. Evidence from this case is almost too much to bear and makes you fight to keep your stomach from hurling out its contents. Shivers run down your spine with when you realize how little difference there is between the Holocaust and the abortion clinic in question.

And this case has made me think...about me. The baby whom my mother brought into the world at 44 years of age. After she had grown children. After she had already birthed several children.

After she had all the children she ever needed. After the time her body had passed the optimum time for bearing children.

After all good reasoning said you should not have a child.

People find out how old my sister is and old I am. They wonder if I was the surprise. The caboose. All just fancy words for asking if you were the "oops child".

"Were you the child whom God wasn't supposed too in His sovereignty place into this world?"

Sometimes I feel like thats what their asking. Which is probably the extreme, but still.

True its awkward thing to be an "age gap child". Fighting between wondering if you fit in best with the grandchildren or your older siblings. Trying to ignore the fact that family gatherings are sometimes just plain awkward. Laughing about the fact your parents are older then your friends grandparents.

Does it mean its really so wrong to be born on what is considered to be a strange time table. 

My mother told me how happy she was when she found out I was coming. She told me I was not the surprise, but part of God's timing.

I'm not writing that I'm God's gift to this world and its a wonderful thing that I'm here when I should not have been. 

I'm writing about the babies whose mommies looked at the risk of having a child in their 40s and decided it was too much. Papers were signed and IV's inserted and then life was gone. I wonder how those mommies are doing now. Are they healthy? Are doing okay emotionally? Are their lives better today because of what happened legally in a clinic?

 Something tells me their not.

I'm writing about those babies who have yet to be conceived. The babies that still have a chance at this world. Babies who need a voice and a fighter as they silently grow in the womb.

I'm writing for the women who are going to need someone to say that they will be supported in their decision to choose life. Someone who will walk the road with them. Tell them that they don't have to choose death. Tell them that God's grace is more then enough for facing an unplanned pregnancy.

And I the child who wasn't supposed to be born wants to do something to tell them.

Its about giving soft wrinkly babies a chance at this world. Its about giving the broken, hope.

Its about telling the world of God's grace. 

We know, so why should we not share what we know to a lost and hurting world? 

Wednesday Thoughts

The wind is blowing and blowing, but the air has a hint of warmness and we can hope that spring may really be coming.

There are a lot of thoughts that are running through my head lately. Which is natural I suppose when you are about to end a chapter of your life and start another.

 Things like this song. 

It's from the deepest wounds
That beauty finds a place to bloom
And you will see before the end
That every broken piece is
Gathered in the heart of Jesus
And what's lost will be found again
Nothing is wasted
In the hands of our Redeemer.

 By Jason Gray

And I've been thinking about idols. Because sometimes I need to stop and look at all those little things I do just because I can. I wonder if I could live without all those wonderful little things or if I would throw a tantrum that would put a 2 year old to shame should they be taken away.

So I'm musing not on a turning to a legalistic way of life, but thinking on what really are my priorities in life. What takes precedence in my day and what doesn't.

And I've been thinking about health. As in not drinking caffeine and not eating sugar. I love steaming mugs of rich blackest of black coffee. I love heaping bowls of creamy chocolaty ice cream and soft melty chocolate chip cookies. Mmmm...I'll stop talking about food now.

Your welcome.

Seriously though not eating as much sugar never hurt anybody. Drinking coffee doesn't hurt people either, but maybe its time for me to try an experiment .

No I'm not going to preach to y'all to stop drinking coffee because in the words of my mother "one man's delight is another man's poison". Or something to that effect.

Is there a reason that I just wrote about idols and then wrote about food? Well I shall refrain from answering such ridiculous questions.


Oh and I've made some goals for the summer.

 Fall  more in love.

Nothing better then sweet summer romance eh? Especially when your falling in love with God. I'm contemplating such things as summer Bible studies with friends and memorizing books of the Bible and dates with God in the coffee shop and long walks in sweltering evening to think and pray.

Of course there has been more thoughts swirling around in my brain, but I haven't the patience to write them all down...so its your turn. Tell me a random thought.

Ready. Set. Go!