Of Monday Nights

Life disappoints.

Sometimes in the biggest of ways that scatters your life pieces across a dark forest and you can't see how to pick them up.

Sometimes life disappoints in the smallest of ways.

Why are the smallest disappointments the most bitter? You tell yourself this is silly. get over it. All it was just a looked forward to moment. Surely there will be another one.

Your girlfriends spontaneously decide to go out for ice cream. They leave in such a hurry of excitement and giddiness that they forget that maybe someone else wanted in on the party. And your trying not to feel left out and disappointed.

Rushing to the store you get there 2 minutes before closing and the lights are off and the door soundly locked. Why in the world? You needed that item and you wanted it now.

You wait for the phone call that never comes and the text you sent never gets answered.

Just so many little things, but when your feeling alone the littlest things are the biggest things.

I'm writing this on a Monday night. People do not feel alone on Monday nights. Maybe on a Friday night (check for me )

 maybe on a Saturday night ( oh yes ),

 maybe on a Sunday night (very true),

 but never on a Monday.

 

Mondays are for celebrating the fact you survived a Monday. Collapsing on the couch in sweet relief that you didn't make too many blunders and only needed 5 1/2 cups of coffee to get through the day. Ahem.

This Monday I looked forward to fellowship around the Word. Weeknight fellowship I hadn't had for so long and I craved desperately. Then someone who probably wanted to be very helpful locked up the office tight so that no one could go in and steal our keys to the office and car keys so we could go home.

Needless to say here I am alone in this dark house writing on my blog about loneliness and thinking. I know what a rare thing for me right? :)

Somewhere in a room someone sits in a room day after day. Able to do a few things but only if they are within reach. hardly doing much independently.

And they wait for someone to come and remember that they are there. Still very much a person, but so unable to participate in a "normal life".

 Its the story of many.

Tonight I write this post to anyone who has felt alone. Tasted the pain of disappointment. The one who is surrounded by so many, but is alone.

We are not alone. Only one of the thousands who feel alone and someone out there would love to trade our disappointment with their own.

Moments of disappointment are perhaps the greatest gift, because it is then we find the gift of knowing God provides for our needs.

 Finding God's grace sufficient is the most beautiful thing and the greatest hope in disappointment. Never for one moment will our God disappoint.

 

Never.  

Yes I did want to cry tonight. Yes I'm thankful to be writing all by myself.

Happy Monday night everyone and congrats on surviving the day.