write

I write, because when I was little I dreamed of authoring famous books.

I started my first mystery book, by dictating my profound words to my mother, because I had not yet gained proficient typing skills.

Now I write because I find it amusing to put my world into words. Sometimes there are sad words, because sometimes I have sad days. And when I write I don't want to be a person hiding behind the eloquent words on a blog. I want to be a real person. You know the kind of person who wakes up with messy hair and sometimes blurts out awkward things at the wrong time.

I like to write about my happy days too, because I want to encourage joy. Real not, not fake happiness that comes short term by the way of pints of chocolate ice cream, but the happiness that is chosen.

I will choose to have joy, despite the fact that the Monday was the worst stereotypical Monday in the history of  all Mondays.

I like to write about the humble musing I sometimes have, because writing helps me sort through the files in my brain.

I don't want to be write to be heard, yet there is a part in me that would like to know people enjoy my writings.

I want to edify with my writings. I don't want to distract from the real purpose in life. I want to write to encourage.

Yes, I'm just a girl who happens to like to write, because that is how God made me.

And so I will write. I will write some things I shouldn't and I will sneak back to my computer and make the posts mysteriously disappear.

 I will write things that will make you wonder what on earth is spewing out of my head.

I will write, just because I want to and not to make anyone read it.

I will write, because I love it so :)

The Tuesday Night Report

Tonight I'm so thankful to be redeemed

I'm loving the excuse to listen to Christmas music once again, but I'm wishing Santa Baby would stay off of my Pandora season.

I want to go read the book of Job, just because its so chuck ful of wonderful bits of goodness.

If someone volunteers to get married on May 31, I will pretty much have a solid marathon of weddings to attend this summer. Any takers? This only counts of course if you are in love.

There seems to be a overwhelming number of people falling in love lately. Maybe its the water or maybe its the fact that February is known for other things than "fury February". Oh and I'm not complaining about all this love I really do find it ridiculously happy.

I have stuck to my New Year's goals of journaling more and drinking less coffee, lets not talk about the other items on my list. There is still eleven more months in this year, correct?

I have officially ended my church search and I'm contemplating how to share my humble insights on making visitors feel welcome in your church.

A certain person is turning 21 this month. And a certain nephew could literally ski circles around me. I'm also quite certain he was born wearing skies. The only thing I wish that I was born wearing ice skates.

I'm not entirely sure I spelled skies right. Maybe I should google it, but I'm too lazy at this point in time.  Maybe if I knew how to spell skies I would magically glide down the slops like an Olympian.

I read a 100 plus pages during the Superbowl and ate some chips and dips just to be American.

Tomorrow I'm going to sleep in because apparently in this neck of the woods they have panic attacks over snowstorms.

And now Pandora is playing songs about mistletoe. Maybe I need a new station.

This randomness will now end. Good night, and may your coffee be strong and black.

The End :)

Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

Today is your  birthday and I'm not sure quite how old you are, maybe a good thing, eh?

Ironically today a video was also released giving the back story to the Yarnel Tragedy. I watched it and suddenly I was in the dead of winter I reliving the hot summer day I heard the news. Mom, I remember that Monday morning. Tears running down my checks as I stared at my facebook. Your hands touched my shoulders. You held me when I was miles and miles away from all my friends and there was no one else to mourn with.

You understood that it was hard. You understood that I ached. You understood why I didn't want to be where I was and I wanted to be with my friends.

Sometimes in our teenage years, we think that mother doesn't understand. We remember all those times that our mothers unintentionally hurt our feelings.

Mom I just want you to know that I remember all the good times too.

Laughing when I wanted to cry and felt horrible, but helping me see that life doesn't always have to be traumatic.

On the rare occasions that I was awake before the sun I saw you with your Bible at the kitchen table. My mother starting her day with God's Word.

Mom thanks for those little moments. You don't even know what you have done to shape my life. I don't even know.

Love,
Your daughter

A letter from the Aunt

My dear niece,

You turned 12 today. You are 4 months older than I was when you came into this world. I remember because if I had been 4 months older I could have scrubbed my hands for 3 minutes and then crept into the NICU to see you. As it was I had to wait till you got over your small problems and then finally I met you. And oh how I loved holding you. You were tiny and warm and I couldn't get enough of you. When you got a bit older people often confused us when they saw pictures of me when I was a small child.

You are 12 and I was almost 12 when you were born. Little did I know at that time how much my world was changing.

When you turn 12 there is no going back the teenage years are coming upon you and nothing will change stop the storm. I did just use the word storm, because it was a storm.

The year I turned 12 was right after 9-11, it was the year Martin Burnham died, and it was the  year a man in our church died leaving 7 children fatherless.

Maybe if I had been younger those events would have slipped by with me hardly noticing, but no things were starting to happen in my brain and I wasn't sure what to do with the avalanche of emotions.

Terrified at the world around me.

Wondering if I was trying hard enough to be "that good Christan".

So much uncertainty and not enough trust in God.

I sound bleak, as if turning 12 means that there is going to be nothing but dark horribleness for the next few years of your life.

I don't want to sound as one announcing impending doom.

Approaching teenage hood has its pleasant and unpleasant moments, but each moment is necessary. Figuring out how to climb over the boulders is part of life and its all part of the timeline of your life.

And you know becoming a teenager is terrible exciting. More responsibilities and who doesn't like to be marked as responsible? Doing stuff with those big kids and finding your personality.

But can I tell you something?

 I'm sorry for sounding like the wise old aunt, but what else am I for?

Worry less about, friendships, beauty, hurt feelings, but instead...

Trust God.

Know that God is Good.

Know that God is faithful.

Know that God has a plan.

Read your Bible, not because the other girls do but because you want to get know God better. And talk to God. Tell Him what you don't understand about life. Tell Him when its hard to put things into words for others to hear.

When you don't know whether to be happy, sad, or angry talk to God about it. And journal those thoughts, not the thoughts about other people, but all the times God teaches you something. Again a word from the old aunt, you won't regret it.

I'm so thrilled you are 12. You are more beautiful than day you were born. Already you have taken spiritual steps and I'm so excited to watch you grow in a young lady who loves the Lord. Enjoy the adventure is going to be a wild ride in a very wonderful kind of way.

Love,
Your Aunt Beth

P.S. some day when you turn 24 tell me all the things you have learned. I'm quite sure I will be able learn something from you.

Firsts of the New Year

First Facebook status of the new year

the certainty of an all knowing God is a beautiful hope for the New Year

Singing the first song together as a church on the first Sunday of the year.

 

Come, ye thirsty, come, and welcome,
God’s free bounty glorify;
True belief and true repentance,
Every grace that brings you nigh.

Come, ye weary, heavy-laden,
Lost and ruined by the fall;
If you tarry till you’re better,
You will never come at all.

 

I will arise and go to Jesus,
He will embrace me in His arms;
In the arms of my dear Savior,
Oh, there are ten thousand charms.

 

The first funeral of the year. A distant relative.

 

The first wedding of the year and I hope they are many more. it makes me happy to see my friends fall in love...despite all the teasing I might dish out to them :).

 

First blunder of the year, don't ask questions unless you want to cough up stories of all the times you've had embarrassing misfortunes :).

 

The first album I discovered that I want to listen too over and over again.

 

http://grooveshark.com/album/Together+For+The+Gospel+Live/3677728

 

The first song I heard on the radio driving home after midnight... of which I don't remember :)

 

The first person I talked too in the New Year...she is a very good friend and we laughed while sipping hot beverages out of toxic plastic cups.

 

First picture of the New Year...

 



The first verses that hit me this New Year.

 

Job 19:25-27

“As for me, I know that my Redeemer lives,
And at the last He will take His stand on the earth.
“Even after my skin is destroyed,
Yet from my flesh I shall see God;
Whom I myself shall behold,
And whom my eyes will see and not another.
My heart faints within me!"

 

 Who knows what other firsts this year may hold. I don't want to spoil the surprise by knowing and I don't want to hurt before I have too. God knows and He knows the grace I will need and He will provide, because God knows all this New Year has so much hope. Yes I know the bleak news stories, but as I said God reigns and He will reign forever. In that my hope is found.