One week.
I've been at college one week and just like it always is with each new semester the first week has been the longest week ever.
After many months of much consideration of this great decision I took the plunge and enrolled. Than I packed my bags all the wondering if I would really and truly do it. God never sent the lightening bolt and so here I am sitting at my desk, which is of course covered in textbooks.
I'm a college student again... and it still doesn't seem real.
Someone asked me if I loved learning after I had told said person I was going back to college. The answer would be no. Some subjects I love, but the whole test and paper thing...it still sends shivers of fear down my back.
God has given each our own strengths. God has given us each our weaknesses. Some classes I'm going to love because they go with me like chocolate and coffee, but the math class has along way to go with me before I can ever declare love. Instead I'm declaring war against the vile enemy and I intend to win.
Something tells me that the math class, the one I would never choose to take is going to be the class that is going to take me alongside the Lord like no other.
Some classes shape your spiritual life and some classes remind who you are to be leaning on for strength.
Really in the grand scale of life math is a rather small item, but in the end if the small things aren't given to the Lord its going to be hard to give Him the big things.
Math class I think is going to be the unlikely blessing of the year. This will probably be easier to be thankful for after the class is said and done :)
Friday, August 30, 2013
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
To the college freshmen
To the college freshmen or as the case maybe the person who is not necessarily a freshmen, but is entering a new campus for the first time. aka me.
Yes folks I'm preaching a little sermon to myself today.
When your at college, be at college. Embrace the campus life. Yes, cafeteria food is not home cooked and dorm rooms for all their thrills leave a lot to be desired when it comes to a homey atmosphere. Still your there, so make the best of it. Do call home, but not every single day. Make friends with those around you. Remember there is someone who feels every bit insecure about this new experience as your self. Rule number one don't afraid to be yourself and just have fun. Its going to be a lot easier to make friends when your not constantly worrying about your own self image.
When you have the time don't waste it on googling side effects of caffeine addictions, instead do your homework. And when those social activities arise grab them by the horns and ride them. Nothing will make you hate college more than not having fun.
Find time to be alone. Go hide in the storage room. Lots happens at college and your brain sometimes just needs to rest. Most importantly sometimes we need time away from people. Let the quietness surround you and focus your thoughts on the truth of God. College is tough and yes many times it will seem unbearable, but God's strength never wavers. Also do yourself a favor and get in the Word every day and do some reading that's not for your OT survey class. Life is teaching you just as much as your hermeneutics class and you need to soak in the time with just you and God.
Don't let the opportunity pass to build a good relationship with your roommate. One of the best things my roommate and I did together was pray together every night. You need that friend. They will know you better than anyone else on campus. They will know what your like in the morning and how you keep your closet.
Don't make an enemy make a comrade. Remember whatever things irritate you about them there is probably just as many things that also bothering them about yourself.
Lastly your going to mess up. Your going to learn how to study for tests and how not to study for tests. Sometimes your not going to deal with people in the right way. Hindsight is always foresight. Its okay to fall. Sometimes you will get embarrassed . Sometimes you will be frustrated. Let me tell you the little secret. College is all about learning and that learning is not just homework. Its learning a whole lot about life.
No letter grade will ever measure what you learn about life in college. Only God alone is going to know the heart of the one serving Him. In the grace of God be faithful in those little things.
Now that I have efficiently typed these words I can go read them whenever I need to remember why I'm at college. Which in the middle of finals week will probably be about 5 times a day.
Yes folks I'm preaching a little sermon to myself today.
When your at college, be at college. Embrace the campus life. Yes, cafeteria food is not home cooked and dorm rooms for all their thrills leave a lot to be desired when it comes to a homey atmosphere. Still your there, so make the best of it. Do call home, but not every single day. Make friends with those around you. Remember there is someone who feels every bit insecure about this new experience as your self. Rule number one don't afraid to be yourself and just have fun. Its going to be a lot easier to make friends when your not constantly worrying about your own self image.
When you have the time don't waste it on googling side effects of caffeine addictions, instead do your homework. And when those social activities arise grab them by the horns and ride them. Nothing will make you hate college more than not having fun.
Disclaimer it really is not a hard thing to avoid your homework and to go enjoy go grab fries and ice cream. Just find the balance and live in the best of both worlds.
Sometimes there is going to be those nights when the big test is there, but it may also be the same night when your friend needs to talk. Be in tune to those around you and be willing to be there even when the deadline is pressing in on you. Piece of advice this is why you study when you can, so you have allowance to be spontaneous later. Remember your never ever again going to have this kind of opportunity to study God's Word. Take full advantage. Walking the tight rope between studies and relationships is hard, but the investment in both is well worth it.
Find time to be alone. Go hide in the storage room. Lots happens at college and your brain sometimes just needs to rest. Most importantly sometimes we need time away from people. Let the quietness surround you and focus your thoughts on the truth of God. College is tough and yes many times it will seem unbearable, but God's strength never wavers. Also do yourself a favor and get in the Word every day and do some reading that's not for your OT survey class. Life is teaching you just as much as your hermeneutics class and you need to soak in the time with just you and God.
Don't let the opportunity pass to build a good relationship with your roommate. One of the best things my roommate and I did together was pray together every night. You need that friend. They will know you better than anyone else on campus. They will know what your like in the morning and how you keep your closet.
Don't make an enemy make a comrade. Remember whatever things irritate you about them there is probably just as many things that also bothering them about yourself.
Say it with me. Its okay to let stuff go. And above all communicate with your roommate. Maybe your the light sleeper so tell them its hard for you to sleep when their blow drying their hair at 1:11 am. Of course do this in a good attitude and not yelling words in your sleep deprived state.
Lastly your going to mess up. Your going to learn how to study for tests and how not to study for tests. Sometimes your not going to deal with people in the right way. Hindsight is always foresight. Its okay to fall. Sometimes you will get embarrassed . Sometimes you will be frustrated. Let me tell you the little secret. College is all about learning and that learning is not just homework. Its learning a whole lot about life.
No letter grade will ever measure what you learn about life in college. Only God alone is going to know the heart of the one serving Him. In the grace of God be faithful in those little things.
Now that I have efficiently typed these words I can go read them whenever I need to remember why I'm at college. Which in the middle of finals week will probably be about 5 times a day.
Saturday, August 17, 2013
part of grace
Several days ago my summer ended. And last night the fall 2013 semester started at the place where I have lived for what seems like so long. I wasn't there and this thought gives me mixed emotions.
Chapters ending in my life and new ones starting.
I had a lot of expectations for this summer. Which is always very dangerous because expectations don't always pan out and sometimes bring you to a rather disappointing place.
Did I expect for death to happen four times over? Perhaps yes, after all I worked in health care at the local retirement center, but still when I saw the family roaming about the halls for hours as they waited for death I inwardly cringed.
Never does one expect to check facebook one Monday morning and find that a national tragedy has struck so close to your heart. Never do you expect that the gospel will be preached so clearly to so many through a friend's death. Sometimes though your trying to understand the reality of pain and the watching of others in pain. I lose words. Not knowing what to say and how to say it, so I pray for grace and hope somehow to be the comfort and not the irritant.
Death was one of the themes from this summer, but death wasn't the only trait of this summer. Learning things in each in every hour. Realizing my depravity and my need of a Savior.
I will thank God for this I scribbled in my journal as I sat on the hardwood of the hallway. Little things happen and they pile everywhere till its seems the rooms in the "house of my life" are disastrous mess.
I didn't quite accomplish what I intended to this summer and this is discouraging to me.
The grace of God does not discourage me. I failed to meet my own expectations, but did I fail God's? Honestly yes I did because I wasn't always faithful in everything I was given this summer.
Summer is over. The mistakes made cannot be undone.
Do I look back with despair or do I thank God for grace and move forward?
Life is dozens and dozens of tiny steps of learning God's grace. Sometimes its slipping backwards, so you can be carried by God alone and not your own actions.
Its all part of grace and I need nothing else.
Chapters ending in my life and new ones starting.
I had a lot of expectations for this summer. Which is always very dangerous because expectations don't always pan out and sometimes bring you to a rather disappointing place.
Did I expect for death to happen four times over? Perhaps yes, after all I worked in health care at the local retirement center, but still when I saw the family roaming about the halls for hours as they waited for death I inwardly cringed.
Never does one expect to check facebook one Monday morning and find that a national tragedy has struck so close to your heart. Never do you expect that the gospel will be preached so clearly to so many through a friend's death. Sometimes though your trying to understand the reality of pain and the watching of others in pain. I lose words. Not knowing what to say and how to say it, so I pray for grace and hope somehow to be the comfort and not the irritant.
Death was one of the themes from this summer, but death wasn't the only trait of this summer. Learning things in each in every hour. Realizing my depravity and my need of a Savior.
I will thank God for this I scribbled in my journal as I sat on the hardwood of the hallway. Little things happen and they pile everywhere till its seems the rooms in the "house of my life" are disastrous mess.
I didn't quite accomplish what I intended to this summer and this is discouraging to me.
The grace of God does not discourage me. I failed to meet my own expectations, but did I fail God's? Honestly yes I did because I wasn't always faithful in everything I was given this summer.
Summer is over. The mistakes made cannot be undone.
Do I look back with despair or do I thank God for grace and move forward?
Life is dozens and dozens of tiny steps of learning God's grace. Sometimes its slipping backwards, so you can be carried by God alone and not your own actions.
Its all part of grace and I need nothing else.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
The Words we should say.
I'm so tired.
Discouraged.
Struggling to have a good attitude about...
Christan fellowship.
Sigh...
Sometimes I wonder about my tendency to be such a deep thinker. About the longings and cravings for deep conversation.
Wanting conversation to go beyond comparing how good our weeks are. I'm sick and tired that seem so shallow you barely get your toes wet.
Still I never start anything deeper. When its been established that we both had "good weeks" or maybe they were crazy weeks but we laugh it off, and say that it was okay. Was it okay?
Then I comment about the weather. Sometimes most embarrassedly I must admit I will talk about the weather to 7 different people. Blush...
I'm the one tired of conversation never going anywhere, but I'm the one quickly hoping on the merry go round of "safe conversation". The conversations where its easy to hide the struggles and the needs for spiritual encouragement.
Paul commended the Thessalonian for their constant building up of one another. I wonder if he would give me the same "gold star" for encouraging those around me.
I am the one with stuttering words and sometimes feeling awkward when I open up my month and say something other then "well look its raining again".
A sweet friend called me this week. In the 10 minute conversation she blurted out her struggle and I spilled my confession.
We both promised to pray. When we remember to do so because we have trouble doing that sometimes.
When the cell service cut me off. I felt as if I had dropped out of the zone of thin air and into the world where air easily available to breath.
I typed words into instant chat that went far deeper than the silly jesting that can be so fun to do and admitted something.
Frustration cannot define my life when I'm not willing to be the one to say anything different .
I wonder if we were designed to look past the outward crust. Ignoring what we see and going straight to the heart. Ignoring my preconceived notions...judgments.
Its not fair. Not fair to the person to assume something they have not had a chance to prove otherwise.
Not fair to myself when I miss out on a conversation that could teach me far more than I ever could ever expect.
And it doesn't take much. Just words. The williness to edify. The willingness to love those I talk too. The willingness to let my words to bear the aroma of Christ. Not the flavor of my seemingly weeks.
"edify one another"
Oh my why does it come so hard? Praise the Lord for His grace that gives me words to speak.
By His grace alone may I be able to to have a conversation that strives for something deep.
Discouraged.
Struggling to have a good attitude about...
Christan fellowship.
Sigh...
Sometimes I wonder about my tendency to be such a deep thinker. About the longings and cravings for deep conversation.
Wanting conversation to go beyond comparing how good our weeks are. I'm sick and tired that seem so shallow you barely get your toes wet.
Still I never start anything deeper. When its been established that we both had "good weeks" or maybe they were crazy weeks but we laugh it off, and say that it was okay. Was it okay?
Then I comment about the weather. Sometimes most embarrassedly I must admit I will talk about the weather to 7 different people. Blush...
I'm the one tired of conversation never going anywhere, but I'm the one quickly hoping on the merry go round of "safe conversation". The conversations where its easy to hide the struggles and the needs for spiritual encouragement.
"therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing"
Paul commended the Thessalonian for their constant building up of one another. I wonder if he would give me the same "gold star" for encouraging those around me.
I am the one with stuttering words and sometimes feeling awkward when I open up my month and say something other then "well look its raining again".
A sweet friend called me this week. In the 10 minute conversation she blurted out her struggle and I spilled my confession.
We both promised to pray. When we remember to do so because we have trouble doing that sometimes.
When the cell service cut me off. I felt as if I had dropped out of the zone of thin air and into the world where air easily available to breath.
I typed words into instant chat that went far deeper than the silly jesting that can be so fun to do and admitted something.
Frustration cannot define my life when I'm not willing to be the one to say anything different .
I wonder if we were designed to look past the outward crust. Ignoring what we see and going straight to the heart. Ignoring my preconceived notions...judgments.
Its not fair. Not fair to the person to assume something they have not had a chance to prove otherwise.
Not fair to myself when I miss out on a conversation that could teach me far more than I ever could ever expect.
And it doesn't take much. Just words. The williness to edify. The willingness to love those I talk too. The willingness to let my words to bear the aroma of Christ. Not the flavor of my seemingly weeks.
"edify one another"
Oh my why does it come so hard? Praise the Lord for His grace that gives me words to speak.
By His grace alone may I be able to to have a conversation that strives for something deep.
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Broken
The circle of friends. They were tight like nothing else. Weathering the storms of the ups and downs of college life. Loving to debate theology for hours on end and not always having the same opinion on such matters.
Incredible humor and the love fun characterized them. Siting at the round table in the cafeteria it was impossible to ignore them.
Slowly the class grew small as others left for other places and ambitions, but still the were the elusive circle that would not let each other go.
Fiercely they stood by one another in the thick and the thin.
One day they stood in a line of blue with diplomas in hand. Ready to be launched into life, but not ready to bid goodbye the company of each other
Goodbye they said and off they fled to all corners of the country.
The circle only grew wider, but it was not broken.
At random times they were together just for the love of being together.
Then one day those friends were standing in a circle with a casket being in the center. The circle that could not break had been broken. Death stopping life, before they were ready to say goodbye
One is gone, but the circle is not broken for one has only gone onto heaven before the rest
The circle is not broken its only widened. Hope of Christ is what has tightened this circle for all eternity.
Nothing will turn this circle into something broken for its bound by a shared love of Christ
Written for the class of 2010 who broke me in as young naive freshmen. Oh my they were the big brothers and sisters that made me feel so at home during my first year of college.
Just a few short weeks ago they said see you later to their classmate, Dustin, who died in the Prescott fire.
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Incredible humor and the love fun characterized them. Siting at the round table in the cafeteria it was impossible to ignore them.
Slowly the class grew small as others left for other places and ambitions, but still the were the elusive circle that would not let each other go.
Fiercely they stood by one another in the thick and the thin.
One day they stood in a line of blue with diplomas in hand. Ready to be launched into life, but not ready to bid goodbye the company of each other
Goodbye they said and off they fled to all corners of the country.
The circle only grew wider, but it was not broken.
At random times they were together just for the love of being together.
Then one day those friends were standing in a circle with a casket being in the center. The circle that could not break had been broken. Death stopping life, before they were ready to say goodbye
One is gone, but the circle is not broken for one has only gone onto heaven before the rest
The circle is not broken its only widened. Hope of Christ is what has tightened this circle for all eternity.
Nothing will turn this circle into something broken for its bound by a shared love of Christ
Written for the class of 2010 who broke me in as young naive freshmen. Oh my they were the big brothers and sisters that made me feel so at home during my first year of college.
Just a few short weeks ago they said see you later to their classmate, Dustin, who died in the Prescott fire.
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