Afraid

I’m afraid to walk up to them. Afraid of not knowing what to say. Afraid of awkward gaps in conversation. Afraid they will think I’m intruding in their world. Afraid I’ll look ridiculous. Afraid of saying the wrong thing.

I’m afraid of going up to a person and saying those first few words. It’s the unknown. I don’t know them and they don’t know me. I’m shy and introverted. I would rather stand in the corner and simply let others talk miles around me.

I don’t like being the one to go up and initiate something. Scared of the uncertainty and afraid of myself. 

Conversation is scary and fearsome, but I’ve done it. I’ve walked up to someone and talked and smiled and listened. The door opens up into a new world. Sometimes we find common ground and sometimes we don’t. Sometimes there is the awkward pause, but it doesn’t matter. I’ve stopped being afraid and have conquered the mountain. Maybe they wished I would go away, but I at least want to give them a friendly word or two.

I have friends that I made because I stopped being afraid and started talking. Friends that have blessed me beyond measure, because I stopped being afraid of the unknown.