thoughts

Just some thoughts...

Listen to the gut feeling that is warning you to use the other road. On the other hand a little off road mudding can be quite fun, never mind we were right square in the middle of the road.

Sometimes being around elderly people can be explained as getting equally excited about the same statement multiple times in a 10 minute span. Maybe a better plan would be to keep talking to avoid repetitive comments.

Oh you want to hear me brag about my big brothers? Awesome. The end.

Do not attempt to sit through a hour half lecture without a steaming cup of coffee.

God's Word is going to have more super power than any feeble words I could blurt out.

Never underestimate the power of shutting up and just listening someone share their struggles.

Never let yourself be above being humbled.

Never lose sight of the course ahead and never get tangled in what lies behind.

Never miss a opportunity to turn a negative thought into a thought for God's glory.

Favorite song from today. Which may or may not be because it contains the word Cornerstone. 

Verse 1-
My hope is built on nothing less
than Jesus' blood and righteousness
I dare not trust the sweetest frame
but wholly trust in Jesus' name

[Verse 1]

-Chorus-
Christ alone, Cornerstone
Weak made strong, in the Savior's love
Through the storm
He is Lord, Lord of All

-Verse 2-
When darkness seems to hide His face
I rest on His unchanging grace
In every high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil

My anchor holds within the veil

He is Lord, Lord of all

-Verse 3-
Then He shall come with trumpets sound
Oh, may I then in Him be found
Dressed in His righteousness alone
faultless, stand before the throne

Lyrics by Hillsong 

From the desk of the transfer student

Hello, my name is Bethanne, and I am the awkward transfer student.

Honestly there nothing more strangely bizarre than showing up at college with the rest of the freshmen, but trying to explain how your not really a freshmen. Upperclassmen may give you the look and you can see the self control they exhibit as they hold back the eye roll.

"Oh really I think freshmen are so cool" said no upperclassman ever. Been there done that. 

Strangely its the freshmen who are asking you questions, because in their minds you look like a older student. You know the thoughts of the upperclassmen and what they think. Quite possibly because I had the very same thoughts myself about the silly funny freshmen. Maybe people think I'm a freshmen, but I don't think myself a freshmen.

 I remember the lovely insecure, crazy feeling of being a freshman and the 2nd time around most defiantly lacks those awful attacks of nervousness about little things like what is the proper amount time to arrive before first hour without being too early. 

Professors with concerned looks wonder how you are handling the homework load. The expected answer is that you are filled with dread and panic, but no you calmly answer everything is really just fine. Homework lost its awe striking terror factor a long time ago.

Oddly you are the one consoling new students and assuring them homework always gets done. Really and truly every single semester every last page is read and every word gets written on those papers. Research papers of 10 pages that seem eternally long to the novice paper writer. Try writing 20 pages on biblical food and see how much perseverance that teaches you.

Encouraging people not to procrastinate feels pretty hypocritical when you yourself are looking for the accelerating feeling of motivation. Taking a year sabbatical from school really should make you filled with goosebumps of excitement at the very thought of writing a paper. Unfortunately no quite the opposite feeling settles over you and nothing gets done.

Being a freshman, but not a freshman is not entirely all terrible.  I am reminded why I never want to forget the year I was freshmen. Never want to forget how insecure I felt. Never want to forget how awkward it feels to be the new person. Never want to forget how I held back my personality and in the end robbed myself. When the freshmen year is over you are stripped down and suddenly you realize its time to live life with abandon. Let the craziness ensue and let the realness replace the mask.


To be terribly blunt its the most amazing thing to start school again and have a chance to do things a little differently than before. Yes, its awkward and yes its strange, but yes its also a extraordinary adventure I wouldn't miss for the world.

Here is to the transfer students. You know who you are and only you know what its like to be new kid on the block in  a sea of seasoned vets and only you will know what is like to be a freshmen and the upperclassmen all in the same year.

And pretty much it doesn't matter how much years you have been to college...there is still heaps more to learn about how not to be awkward. Maybe I speak from personal experience maybe I don't :) 

Pieces

 Overwhelmed by the greatness of our God.

  God, the one, who does not see our lives as pieces, but instead the larger picture that we cannot even fathom.

Chapel ended with the simple prayer "God please Hold us" and I swallowed hard, because the thought was too overpowering to even think.

He is holding us and not even for one moment does God ever stop holding us up. Honestly in our self centered desire to be in control we just sometimes neglect to acknowledge His power.

He is always there.

Listening to these words tonight and praying for some dear friends of mine as they prepare to bring into the world a baby that will need a coffin instead of a cradle. 

Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.

Who told us we'd be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We're asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It's unfair.

This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred NUMB our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.
 
 If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

 This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.
---Natalie Grant  

God is always, always holding us.

And those pieces of pain? God is holding them in His sovereign hand and not for one instant is God thrown for a loop. 

What do I know

This week has been good. Really good. Oh Monday morning started out terrible enough, but then there was the verses in my inbox and my day was encouraged by God's Word.

I sipped tea and had time to read my Bible without worrying about the clock.

The night air was beautiful and cool, but not too cool. Warmth kept my skin from having goosebumps, but our conversation strengthened my heart far more than the lovely evening. I crawled under the soft flannel sheets later and felt truly blessed to have Christan fellowship.

Class hours were cancelled and I gained extra sleep.

I walked outside and the weather had gone from balmy to crisp and excitement tingled in my veins. Fall and I have a very lovely relationship and I never hate the change of seasons.

Good, good life has seemed so good.

A new text message. She needs prayer, it hasn't been the best of times.

Another friend is struggling.

Two close friends of mine were to welcome their first child right around Christmas time. When the baby is born in a few days there will be no cries and no first breath.

My life has been good this week, but tonight my heart aches.

I ache for those who are grieving.

I ache for those who are feeling lonely

I ache for those with disappointments


Life may be pleasant for me right now, but I never want to get so caught up in my enjoyment of the beautiful to forget that  there are those having a ugly time.

I can have sympathy. I can hurt. I can long to change the circumstances of those I know.

But I can't teach people what God is going to show them through their battles.

I want to have power to change things, but what do I know. What do I know of God's plans? The bigger picture.

Perhaps if I could I would make the hurt go away, but my lofty ideas would hinder a greater plan. A plan to show God's glory.

While the small trials and the big trials of this life are hard. God will always be there shaping us and making His love known to those around us through our circumstances.

While I cannot say that I'm happy that my friends are suffering I can say that I'm thankful for a God who hurts with them and will care for them.

God is good and I pray those I know will find God's goodness to be ever prevalent to them.

Tonight I wish I could change circumstances, but what do I know of our holy God? 

I'll tell you what I know...His way is always, always  perfection.

Of Fog

Misty fog envelops the morning and I hardly dare to take a step for fear that the luscious cloak of the morning will dissipate.

Fog makes me smile, because of its transforming power. One moment you see and the next moment you can't. When I see fog it reminds me how often in this life I can't see.

The next step is blurred. Life is covered with uncertainty and fear, but hidden in the depths of life is beauty. The beauty of God being in control. The beauty of knowing my God will always be faithful.

Fog can be eerie and creepy when your driving down that strange windy road and your not sure what sort of creatures are going to jump out at you.

Suddenly the beauty is gone and mad terror is your only thought.

Perspective. Viewpoints changed and your attitude is changed. Fog can be full of mystical beauty or it can send frightening shivers down your back.

Life can be full awestruck wonder at our faithful God or it can be frustrating moments of wondering why and when something will change.

And its simply perspective that is so easily swayed by the power of our own thoughts.

We are never going to see the next thing in this life, but we are going to choose how we see the life we are living right now. 

What do I want to see...faithfulness or frustration?